for my 11 years old boy



Calvin...

If I would have to choose
I would choose not to force you to wake up in the morning
I choose to seeing you enjoy your sleep

If I would have to choose
I would choose not to force you to do your homework
I would choose to see your happy face enjoy playing badminton

if I would have to choose
I would choose NOT to discipline you
I would choose NOT to screaming-scolding-shouting at you for your mistake

If I would have to choose
I would choose NOT to HURT you with my fear

If I would have to choose
I would choose to forget about the school and all those marks

If I would have to choose
I would choose you enjoy the life in the way you like

BUT

Calvin

The world is NOT operating in that way
The world have its own system that we need to adjust to it

Mommy...with all I have in me
want you to be HAPPY

Happy does not necessarily you are always in fun-good-wonderful situation

Happy means your enjoy the good time 
Happy means your peace sustain you in bad time

Mommy...as much as I can
I choose LOVE over my FEAR

I've tried with all my power and I will continue to try:
. to understand you when you makes me upset
. to love you when you make mistake
. to comforts you when you are in trouble

I put those action in 4 letters: LOVE

you may not understand LOVE in the form of scolding
you may not understand LOVE in the form of anger

what you feel now is hurt! pain!

 that's the reason...

I bend my knees
I bow my head
lift up my heart to Jesus

because...
only Jesus can help me
only Jesus can makes you understand

understand the LOVE in the form of discipline

scolding, screaming, angry is very tiring!
scolding, screaming, angry is very painful!

it is not hurting you only
it is hurting me even more
because I hurt the ones the I love

Please forgive me for all those things that
I have done that hurting you even now
when you read this and
you remember those day

 Please release forgiveness for me


looking at you now

  • a responsible boy
  • independent
  • diligent
  • sensible       
  • caring
  • loving
  • soft-hearted boy
my heart filled with proud!
you are my favorite boy!

one thing that I desire in your life

 you grow to love God with all your heart 
you planted deeply in God's word
your life pleasing God


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