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Friday, January 06, 2017

The Richest of Modest Life

the year 2016...

my GOSPEL journey brought me to experience a new life in Christ

#1 when I learn Jesus is the only source of my joy
... every great thing was taken out from my life
... every earthly-great-thing
... I experience great loss
... I experience broken life
... I start to enjoy being nobody
... I start to enjoy having nothing
... I learn to be happy in a very simple way
... less and lesser reasons for my happiness

... Humbleness more and more I gain only through a broken life in Jesus!
... nothing else!

#2 when I learn His word is the source of my confidence
... I deal a lot...greatly...with harsh and demean words
... I deal a lot..greatly...with praising and admiration words
... I experience rejection, misunderstood, being taking advantage of many things
... I experience emotional roller-coaster that broken me into pieces
... I experience losing every right that I have
... I experience being at the wrong time and place all the time and doing many wrong things
... I experience boldness in Christ despite all my wrong doing through repentance
... I draw strength from His words
... I experience His words comes true in my life
... I'm more willing to submit to His will
... I'm more willing to trust in His way
... I'm more patient to wait for His time

... I learn to grow my identity in Christ

#3 when I learn about my sins
... I experience my sins expose in many different ways
... all the-hidden-sins come out more and more
... I'm surprised by my own sins
... I more open and easily acknowledge my sins
... I more willingly to confess my sins
... I more willingly to say sorry at times when I think I'm right
... I more aware that I'm hopeless without Jesus
... every relationship problem exposes my sin and teach me to repent

... the repentance lifestyle grows in me

#4 When I learn about His grace and mercy
... I experience hopeless life
... I experience broken life
... I learn that my life only depend on His grace and mercy alone
... I more and more count on His mercy and grace
... I learn to forgive beyond my mind and heart agreement
... sanctified and purified my worship to Him

... I learn to boast in Jesus alone

#5 When I learn about Jesus' love
... I experience being broken and His love healed me
... I experience His great love at times when I can't forgive myself
... I experience that He never forsake me in my disaster and chaotic life
... I experience shameful in many ways but Jesus never failed to smile on my shamefulness instead of mocking on me
... I feel like having a new glasses
... the compassion grows in me
... I more willingly to help despite rejection-skepticism & accusation
... I more willingly to goes beyond my border to help

... His love never fails me even though I'm failed
... His love never rejects the filthy sinner-me

for me...
modesty is impossible out of my Jesus
humbleness is fake and temporary out of my Jesus
His love is great in all of my weaknesses!

the year 2017...
I'm exciting for LIFE of MORE of HIM and LESS of ME
I want to enjoy the richest of modest life

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Wednesday, December 07, 2016

my Papa and my Father


Christmas is around the corner


This is the first time I’m scared of Christmas
This is the first time I feel like to skip the most wonderful month of the year
This is the first time Christmas struggle me in my mind and my heart

All of these years...
I never fail to  expecting-enjoy-rejoicing in Christmas for many reasons. Last year was great! around this time I was on my way to home...after so many years spending Christmas in other places...other than my home-my heart filled and full of joy.

This year...
every hope
every joy
every fun
every Christmas thing
...seems to fade away
...looks dim in my sight
...sound weird in my ears

I don't know...I'm scared to Christmas would be? 


That's because of you are no longer with us 


I'm struggling within me
I'm fighting against me


I don't want this suffering to overwhelm . overcome . defeat me 


for 1 reason: my JOY is in the LORD alone!


only God and God alone is the source of my joy


I can feel the pain is real
I know it beating me down


I don't want to give up my joy for the lie that evil put in my heart!


The joy  of Christmas is not in my Papa
The joy of Christmas is in my Father 



This Christmas will also a wonderful and joyful time!
even more!

knowing that...

my Papa is in eternal joy and peace with my Father in heaven


Merry Christmas Papa! 

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Thursday, October 20, 2016

Ezekiel 36:25-29

My gracious Lord!!!

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Friday, October 14, 2016

They are Grown Up!

Calvin 9 
Rebecca 7

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Tuesday, October 11, 2016

New Wisdom . New Understanding

God send me to the world to reach out for the lost

NOT for me to change their life
BUT  to DO God's will

changing somebody's life is God's job! God's Part!
submit and obey God is my part

in the field...

i learn to be obedience
...that means fighting against my own comfort and self-righteousness

i learn to be humble
...that means fighting against my own pride

i learn to grow my perseverance
...stay! serve! love! even though everything else comes against me
...pain! struggle! hurt! won't stop me coz that's the way to learn: Jesus is enough for me

i learn to share God's love the impossible and undeserving people
...coz i'm the undeserving person who received God's grace freely

i learn to trust God the most impossible and difficult time

all these things mould me and shape me to be more like Jesus

...eventually the end of the day

it is my life that changed NOT anybody else

His grace changed my life in the field!
I need grace as much as the lost! or anybody else!
I need to preach gospel to myself more than anybody else