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Friday, June 10, 2016

ADVERSITY QUOTIENT


Learn from Vincent Billy's case, I found a good article for parents

Vincent Billy was a bright and smart kid that committed suicide when he failed on his final project in university

PARENTING STUDY
by. Mrs Elly Risman
(Senior Psychologist and Consultant, University of Indonesia)

We never know...
what kind of the world that our children will face in the future, then teach and train them to solve their own problem now

Do not pray all roles for them...
. mother
. chef
. dishwasher

. father
. driver
. plumber

You are NOT a member of RESCUE TEAM!
Your children are not in danger
NO S.O.S signal
Do not always force yourselves to help and fix everything

#Children complain the toy puzzle cannot connected each other..."Let me help"
#The water bottle a little difficult to open "Come...Mommy do"
#Shoelace hard to tied "Here...Daddy tie for you"
#Oil sprinkled on that little hand "Come...Mommy wipe"

What will your children be?!

If help provided out of the storm
What happens when disaster really come?

Give the children opportunity to find their OWN solution before jump in and help them
#1 The ability to handle stress
#2 Solve the problem
#3 Find the Solution
...are the skilled that must be trained and learned by the children
...those skills are not just happened without any training

The ability to solve problems and survive in trouble times without giving up could have an impact for decades to come

Not only can make a person graduate from school
but also passed the test of the storm trough life and marriage

It is seems not important...
"what's wrong with helping my children?!"

If you immediately rush to save them from all the difficulties
They would become FRAGILE and WITHER

Hurt little bit, complain!
Fight a bit, as for a divorce!
Facing small problem, gone crazy!

IF you spend lots of time paying attention and money for their IQ
THEN put the same effort for their AQ

AQ?
What is AQ?

ADVERSITY QUOTIENT

According to Paul G. Stoltz
AQ is the intelligence in his face difficulties or obstacles and the ability to survive in a variety of life's difficulties and challenges experienced. 

Would this intelligence more important than IQ to face daily problems?

the feeling of being able to passed the test is a an incredible pleasure
being able to solve the problem, ranging from simple to difficult will give confident to the children and make them believe that asking for help is the last option when things really out of their hands

so...

LET your children go through difficulties in life

NO problem if child suffered from minor cuts,
a little cry
a little disappointment
a little bit late
get wet by the rain

HOLD your tongue, hands and heart from providing assistance
Teach them to HANDLE the frustration


If you are always a fairy godmother or guardian angel.
What happens if you are no longer breath again tomorrow?

your kids may follow you to the grave

It is hard not to intervene when looking at your own child in pain, grief and struggle
Moreover as parent, the first instinct is to protect our children
So train the children's AQ is a test for parents as well

But...please understand...
Life is not easy, the problem will always be there and they must be able to survive
Many times we cannot avoid passing through the rain, storm and difficulties in life

Your action now gives them future!





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New in 2016

hope i will post more in here





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Monday, September 01, 2014

Rebecca grow in prayer



All of the other nights she pray only for herself

Today she pray...

"Lord...Thank you for abang, Daddy and Mommy...bless their heart...in all of their ways...bless them...in Jesus name I pray. Amen!"

WOW!
 





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Children and The Word of God

Children and the Word of God

while people around me talk about their kids goes to qualified school
while people around me talk about their kids perform well in the school
while people around me 'classified' the kids 


--------------
i lost interest in of all those things
--------------

i more concern about how they behave
i more concern about how they connect with people
i more concern about their happiness
i more concern about they knowing God

--------------
so i consider myself being faithfully planted the word of God to them
--------------

they love bedtime reading
which means i read for them 

i observe...
. that is our relax time
. the most effective learning time *i wonder*
. the precious time for us to talk heart to heart

then..

i take advantage of it ---> planting God's word!

i can see...
. they are growing to relates everything that happen to the word of God
. they learn to know God's power manifested in His word
. they learn to know God

--------------
GOOD enough hah?!
--------------

until one day...
when i spend time with THE WRITER
Holy Spirit reveal the other side of GOOD!

He started with a question...
"what are you trying to do?!"

... what have i done?!

another question makes me more alert...
"what do u expect by planting the seed?!

...hmm...They know You?!

Yeah sort of!

....help me to understand Lord *i beg*

then He help me to unpacked the truth

--------------
Planting the word of God is good!
Control the result is wrong!
--------------
your expectation makes you wants to control the result!
--------------

You were wondering...
The more you faithfully planting the seed
The more anxiety grows in you

because you are trying to control the result
because you are trying to play MY role

*crying remorsefully*

--------------
Rest in Me my daughter
It bring peace to you
--------------

I will do it according to My will
which is far beyond your mind can reach
and
There's not always good in your eyes
but
TRUST ME!

--------------
at that time...
I break down and cry and cry and cry
NO word came our my mouth
but i believe He understand my heart
--------------

that broken heart
that tears
that unspoken words
means...

FORGIVE ME LORD!
--------------
Into your hands i commit Calvin and Rebecca
May Your will be done in their life
not mine
--------------

it's always wonderful spend time with Him






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Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Calvin experience the teaching...

early June: 4 days Church Camp

Torkis and me join the adult class
Calvin and Rebecca join the children class

The children receive the great blessing as much as the adult

back at home we share with them...and...i'm amazed how the teacher teach us some difficult issues in the simple ways that children can understand...like:
. Nicodemus: born again (seek)
. 10 commandment (yearn)
. Nehemiah (commit)

Calvin is the one who get the deeper understanding about the teaching compare to Rebecca...and...every where we go he relates things that he sees and hear to the teaching

end June: the unplanned trip to Bangkok

at the airport we got a promotion package from Thai government.
. city tour for 6 people
. only for 27 USD
. including big and comfy van (only for us) and a tour guide
. for 4 hours

*WOW*

we started the trip by visited some interesting places in Bangkok including China Town and the first stop was GRAND PALACE

I have visited this place for couple of times...but...this time is different as the tour guide told us every interesting thing about the Palace and Bangkok

Calvin was there...with the eyes and ears open...i've been observing him closely as i knew he will throw some questions that give the tour guide difficult time to answer




#1st strike
There were 2 giant statues at the gate and the tour guide said they are the demons that protected the palace as the guard

Calvin on the first line : "do you believe in demons?!" *with unbelievable tones*

Ups! Torkis pushed him to the back of the lines as the sign for me 'answer him' :D

Oh NO! Hello there...i have the same question here !
why the tour guide use the word "demon"?!

well...anyway maybe the way i'm picturing the word wrong
so this is my effort try to explain to him

Me: "Yes they trust demons to guard the palace but we trust in Jesus to protect us"

of course he continue with some other question and i have to put him in "pause" mode coz there no STOP button for him

Me: "let me take a pic and we will discuss about it when we are back at the hotel"

he agreed! *fuuuh!*




#2nd strike
the interesting things keeps coming as we touring deeper to the palace...and...he simply forget my offer -_-!

one of them was the place of 4 statues...
we entered the place as saw some people sitting and some were bowed down...

Calvin: "mommy why don't we go there and bow down?!"

mute me! my face send a sign to him 'be quite!'
it is a quite place for people to meditate

we continue walking through the exit and i can see Calvin's eyes open wide but his mind was actively searching for answer as i didn't response to him at all

as we stepping down the stair...suddenly he raised up his fore-finger and say this...

--------------------------------
C: "Now I know!!! we can't bow down to any idol only to God"
me: "yeah?!" *asking for more explanation"
C: "Yes! that's what God told us to do in 10 commandments"
--------------------------------

he relates to the teaching he got in the camp!

we continue touring as i walk behind him...he walk here and there...pause in one place...observing something then continue again...i can see he is enjoy what he sees and hear...as i walk close to him...i can hear him singing...

-----------------
it was a WORSHIP SONG!!!
-----------------

.............................
he turned his head to me and smile very nice...

... the peace and calm eyes
... the sweet smile

send me a message: 
the presence of the Lord is with him!
at that time
in that place

WOW O.O
.............................


#3rd strike
we passed through some people that praying in front of the statue and some of them bow down

Calvin: "Mom...why don't we give fruits, flowers and burning stick when we pray?"
me: "Our God doesn't want it...He wants a heart that trust in Him"
Calvin: "Oh i know! that's called FAITH"
me: "Yes you are right!"
Calvin: "one more thing mommy...God loves worship as offering to Him"


This time...this boy amazed me and touched me deeply...
. in the place where people worshiping different God
. in the place that strongly shows how people praying and worshiping differently that what we used to do
. in the place that kids in his age might get confused and wondering...why people worship different God?!
. in the place where his faith got tempted




CALVIN RESPONSE DIFFERENTLY!
HIS FAITH TOWARDS GOD REMAIN STRONGER!

. the Spirit inside him...leads him to sing!
. the Spirit inside him...helps him to understand!
. the Spirit inside him...grows deeper intimacy with Jesus!

Thank you Holy Spirit! Thank you Jesus!

I can see...this experience brought Calvin deeper in understand and grows his faith towards God!

That was a great experience for Calvin to bring all the teaching that he have received into the reality and deeper understanding about the Ones that he worship and the Ones that love him dearly

recorded this for you Calv! someday you can looking back to this time when God meet you personally in awesome way :)







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Saturday, March 01, 2014

Leadership Training







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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Rebecca and MEI.MEI




she came back home today and start to addressing us one by one

. Daddy = Papa
. Mommy = Mama
. me = meimei

me: "who is your koko?!"
Rebecca: "ABANG!!!"

HUAHUAHAUHAUAHUA

Koko abang then

GOOOOOOOD!