a Mother's Journey
University TimeSaya suka sekali terlibat dalam banyak kegiatan...selain kuliah...bahkan sampe kuliah master juga masih aja terlibat kegiatan ini-itu...sampe pernah sekali yang jagain kos heran trus tanya ke teman" kos "mbak Ria masih nge-kos disini ya?!"...hahahahaha....secara saya pergi pagi pulang malam...kampus jadi tempat kos saya yang kedua...hahahahahaha...
Satu saat dalam BTS di Bangkok...teman kuliah saya Heidi dari Sweden bilang bgini "i can see you in the next few years will be a career woman!...well Heidi you are wrong now
Marriage LifeSejak hari pertama menikah...kita udah planning punya anak...dan...saya mulai kehilangan semangat cari kerja lagi...tapi karna gak dapat anak...akhirnya kerja juga...kerjanya sih gak lama...dan taon kedua kita menikah saya hamil...
Waktu hamil...Torkis dan aku...banyak pakai waktu untuk sharing. diskusi dan set komitmen kita ke depan...satu per satu kita bahas...dan...akhirnya ambil keputusan bersama
. i will stay at home as housewife and full-time mom
. he will be out there and working as a bread winner
keputusan yang berat secara financial support gak OK...gaji waktu itu kecil...dan penghasilan saya setengahnya dia so kita kehilangan uang yg cukup signifikan waktu itu...apalagi pengeluaran ditambah dengan punya anak...
Torkis is Torkis...he is a hard working man! He never complain or force me to go back to work
for me: it's like commit suicide!
. housewife?!
. full-time mom?!
. after being so actively in many acitivities now i have to come down to zero ground called home! *great*
logically: i'm finished
spiritually: i'm stronger
we've gone through 2 years of trying .praying .crying .wanting so bad for kids...
for me it was like a 1000 years of waiting...
. now God answers my pray
. He gave me kid
. and after i have the kid...i hand over to maid?!
...to be there when my baby crying for a mother's embrace
...to be there and comforting them by tender kiss and warm hug
...to be there sharing the smile and laughing
...to give them assurance with strongly yet gently embrace when they are in pain
...to be there when my baby scare of thunder
...to be there replacing my roles as mother
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NOOOOOOOOOOO WAY!
I'M a MOTHER!
GOD TRUST ME TO BE A MOTHER not the maid!
i know nothing .zero. about parenting .cooking .changing diaper .feeding the kids coz all of my life i spend at school...
but IT CAN'T STOP ME TO BE A MOTHER!
not even the financially support or career
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for this reason: I'M STRONG and READY to FACE ALL the CHALLANGES TO BE A MOTHER
Motherly LifeCalvin lahir setahun kemudian...dia sangat lucu .pintar dan aktif...umur 5.5 bulan bahkan sebelum dia bisa duduk dengan baik...dia sudah bisa bicara...biasanya baby start with rhyme "da da" ato "di di"...Calvin waktu itu langsung bisa ngomong "da di"
pekerjaan rumah .ngurus anak .ngurus suami membuat saya super sibuk...bahkan...lebih sibuk dari yang pernah saya bayangkan...
masa" itu sangat berat...karna saya a breasfeeding mom....
. asi exclusive for 6 months
. continue breastfeeding until calvin 21 month young...in other word: until i get pregnant again
fact: breasfeeding mom lost 6 months of sleep for the first 2 years of their child!
. kerjaan bersihin rumah...sapu .ngepel .cuci piring .masak .cuci kamar mandi etc etc
. calvin yang susah banget makan sampe harus masak 3-4x sehari...ganti" menu supaya dia mau makan
. belum lagi saat dia sakit .muntah .poop berkali" sepanjang malam .ganti sprei berkali"
. saya lebih banyak lari ketimbang jalan karna Calvin sangat aktif
. saya lebih banyak bergerak ketimbang duduk...karna dalam keadaan duduk aja Calvin punya seribu gaya
. tangan jadi kaki...kaki jadi tangan...mata .telinga .mulut .otak berada pada higest capacity
. with no maid and nobody help even just for the toilet break...the circumstances makes me a single fighter!
banyak ibu yang dalam masa ini pasti mengeluh banyak perkara secara mereka harus handle banyak hal
frankly speaking : not me!
all things around me turn-out the be the source of joy...
1. The kid is adorable...he is everything i'm picturing in mind for years...he is all i need
2. The house chores is the way to cut down my fats...i lost 26 kg in 1 year! *isn't it great!*
3. THIS IS GOD's WAY!!! i just don't have a time to crying for the dream i have lost *career*
Fact:
. Yes!...hampir tiap malam saya nangis sebelum tidur karna kecapekan bukan komplen
. Yes!...saya juga iri dgn orang lain yang bisa enjoy their tea-time peacefully...tapi very low level of envy
*actually i just don't have enough time to do it*
. Yes!...sering kali saya gak tau harus gimana dan bagaimana karna saya new mother dan jauh dari orang tua
. Yes!...saya gak tau masa depan saya sebagai Ria!
yang saya tau:
hanya dengan memeluk Calvin...all the power that i need restore back to me *NO joke!*
Kerjaan bgitu buat saya gak peduli lagi penampilan...
. pernah saya keluar rumah gak sadar baju bagian belakang saya bolong
. sering sekali saya dikira MAID yang jagain calvin
. beberapa kali ditanya"in dan ditawari kerja ama mereka sangking liat saya gesit ngurus anak
CAREER WOMAN became a MAID?! *hahahahahaha it must be a joke!*
sedih iya .lucu iya *hahahahahaha*
after many years...it came clear to me:
. that's the process to DESTROY my SELF-PRIDE and built up the NEW and TRUE CONFIDENCE in me
. after being broken unexpectedly .unplanned .unknown...I'M BECOME STRONGER!
. the desire to be career woman has been replaced with the GREATER DESIRE to be a mother
the most important thing: I LOVE WHAT I'M DOING! I LOVE BEING A MOTHER!
FINALLY!
. after 9 years being housewife
. after 6 years being full time mom
. after 3 years being a double mom *2 kids*
God gave me another privilege to do my dream job ever!
. the tiket has been booked
. the material done
. this time my lifetime partner will be my teamwork as well
never imagine its gonna be this awesome!
to all full-time moms out there: NEVER STOP DREAMING .BELIEVING & PRAYING!!!
for me:
HOUSEWIFE and FULL TIME MOM is LIFETIME CONTRACT!
my DREAM JOB is a BONUS from GOD!
so i will continue with my main job while occasionally doing my side-dream-job
after all...
look at this sharing in one view : CHARACTER MOULD!
it is not how i get my dream job...or...how i survive in the midst of diffult times...but...it is how God mould my character through the journey
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